Hello, Gentlemen,

So we're nine days into 2026.

I'm writing this on the lovely new tablet the missus got me for Christmas.

This is the point where the majority of resolutions will be broken.

The gym will start thinning out, and the queues at Maccys will be returning.

I've never been a New Year resolution kind of guy.

I think if something's worth doing, then it's worth starting now.

Although I'm far from perfect.

With that, let's get into it.

"If you're in it for the appreciation then a relationship probably isn't for you."

I can't remember where I read this or who wrote it. But fuck me, it hit home.

It made me realise how I can get caught up in expecting praise for the mundane.

In the book I recommended in issue 2, they call them covert contracts.

Wanting a Blue Peter badge for doing the things we're supposed to be doing. Then walking around with our bottom lips out because nobody notices.

Well, unless we don't do it. Then everyone seems to notice.

Woe is me right?

Well, no.

Once I heard that quote, something switched. I began to catch myself when I was feeling resentful.

I started seeing that doing things for them is why I'm here. It's what I signed up for and I'm grateful for that.

This doesn't mean I can't still do things for me.

But I realised that feeling unappreciated isn't the way forward.

I'm choosing to do chores, tasks for the family and whatever else because I want to.

Because I love them.

Who am I to then get stroppy with the very people I was trying to care for in the first place?

Who to be fair, probably didn't notice anyway. And if they did, it wouldn't have a positive effect.

They wouldn't suddenly start showing masses of appreciation.

They'd just wonder what my issue was?

And who could blame them?

Maybe I'm the cause of my own problems?

I was back at work during the holidays.

A 7am start meant dropping the kids off early.

I pull up at the lights, waiting to turn left onto the dual carriageway.

I'm in the right lane. To my left is an empty skip wagon.

I drive Lutons when needed, so I know to keep my distance and give him plenty of space.

The lights turn green and I'm gone before he really gets going.

Then I hear him sounding the horn.

I'm well away at this point so I thought it must be aimed at the car passing him at the time.

Next minute I'm stopped at the lights half a mile up the road. He comes flying up, slams the anchors on.

I can hear him shouting despite my windows being down and the radio being on.

So I open my window, "What you sayin'?"

He was saying something about him taking up two lanes and me having kids in the car. The lights turned green then we both went about our day.

I couldn't stop replaying the incident in my head.

I even ran it by an HGV driver at work who confirmed I did nothing wrong.

More than once, I've been close to calling the company and trying to get this guy on the phone.

Each time I've talked myself out of it.

There's a lad who sits behind us at the match. I'd say he's in his 20s or early 30s, but has learning difficulties. His mental age is maybe 9 or 10.

We always have a chat, he's nice as pie.

There's also some blokes near us who are almost certainly pissed up most weeks. One of them is particularly bad.

Constant slurs and every now and then, some are racial.

I've been close to saying something before but I know it's likely to turn nasty.

I've got no qualms if it was to go off with them. But I go with my lad.

I once read that you should never let your child see you in a violent altercation. It can have traumatic consequences.

Plus, I'd never put him in any danger.

So, although it pisses me off, I turn a blind ear.

Anyway, the nice lad who sits behind us stood up and shouted something racist.

Not because he knew what he was saying. I believe it was because he'd heard the other bloke shout it before.

And the worst thing was, it was directly offensive to his carer who was sitting right next to him.

Again, I said nothing.

Until half time when we had the opportunity for a proper chat.

I quietly explained that what he had said was wrong and he should never use those kinds of words.

As suspected, he had no idea and hasn't said anything of the sort since.

I'm not sure if this whole story is cowardice on my part.

A couple of years back, I read two books. Afterwards, I realised I hadn't done them in the best order.

I remember Buddhism Plain and Simple feeling like a soul cleanser. A reset.

Then A Guide to the Good Life: The Ancient Art of Stoic Joy offered a solid set of rules for a man trying to find some contentment.

I'm going to revisit them in 2026.

This time in the right order.

So, that's it from me this week.

Forcing myself back into what feels like routine.

Getting my head down for the rest of the winter.

Just sticking with it.

As always Gentlemen…

Life Matters.

Lewis

Right That's it.

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