I'm not sure if it's just the January blues but I've not felt great this week.

I could have very easily curled up in my duvet and not gone to the gym.

Rang in sick at work.

Skipped coaching the kids football.

But I haven't done any of those things.

You see motivational quotes all the time, "I've only ever regretted not going to the gym, I've never regretted going."

I've even quoted the old, "You don't train because you feel good, you feel good because you train."

But honestly, I've done the work and don't feel motivated or fulfilled this week.

I'll keep going, nonetheless.

If you read issue 2 then you probably worked out, I'm a Wednesday fan.

If you follow football then you'll know dark days are upon us.

We've won one game all season, we're on minus points, everyone's jumped ship and relegation is imminent.

Then as if that wasn't enough, our fearless leader has decided it's time for him to move on, after ten years of absolute dedication.

The reason I thought I'd discuss this is some of the reactions I've seen.

Barry Bannan has got to be up there with one of the most loyal Wednesday players ever.

Yet some of the comments from what can only be described as crazed fans come across as disturbed.

"I hope he gets injured on his last game so he has to stay"

"He's a traitor, I hope he breaks his leg"

Literally wanting a man with a wife and kids, a family who depend on him, to get injured.

And for what?

Absolutely mind blowing.

But we pay their wages, don't we?

With that in mind, spectators tend to say whatever they want.

You'll have seen the memes…

The fat bloke set with a can of lager and a big bag of Doritos, slagging off a boxer who's in peak condition.

No idea that they wouldn't be able to do what he does for 36 seconds let alone 36 minutes.

People in the stands and terraces of all sports shouting, "You should have done this or that!"

"He's shit, She's shit, they're shit."

But do we have the right to criticise?

I mean some of these people have been fans week in, week out for decades.

Is it just part of sport or is there a line that shouldn't be crossed?

Training has taken a turn for the worst this week.

First a niggle in the shoulder. Then one in the lower back.

The younger me would have pushed on and more than likely ended up getting hurt.

But I've had a rethink, tweaked some bits of the programme and upped my mobility work.

All being well this should allow me to keep training without injury.

But I'm not 100% sure.

I've realised since hitting my forties that I have to be careful about overdoing anything…

Even if I think it's good for me.

I thought I'd been eating healthy, avoiding sugar - ruined my kidneys.

Working on training upper chest and shoulders - fucked my front delt.

Go back to kickboxing at night whilst training hard in the morning - hip injury.

This all might have been enough to give up in my younger years, but not now.

The stakes are too high.

It's not just about trying to look good for the missus, it's about longevity.

Could be too little too late.

But anything that gets me another forty, fifty, sixty years - I want in.

Because for all I know, tomorrow is my last day.

And I'm not ready. 

I saw a post this week about a guy who lost his keys on a run.

After retracing his steps, he realised somebody had already found them and he was pissed about it.

Because instead of picking up his keys or turning them in, they had arranged a circle of sticks around them.

According to the man, "Just to make sure whoever lost them would stop, stare, and feel stupid."

But was it not so he could find the keys more easily - bigger target, easier to see?

He said, "They didn’t leave a note, didn’t move them somewhere obvious, didn’t bring them inside."

But did they not do those things because they thought the guy would track back to look for them?

Was he pissed they didn't keep the keys safe?

They might have thought that if they took the keys to safety, the person coming back for them would be stranded.

Did they believe there was more chance of the keys being returned to the owner if they tracked back?

Maybe the owner was just a dick?

Or was he gobsmacked that someone could have kept the keys safe but chose to leave them for anyone to take?

Seems like the finder of the keys was damned to criticism either way.

What do you do in this spot?

Have you heard of Ross Edgley? I hadn't until I came across his book, The Art of Resilience.

A blow-by-blow account of his epic swim all the way around Great Britain.

A great way to put things into perspective.

He's there swimming over 1700 miles and 150 days, non-stop.

Then here's me, moaning about a lack of motivation in January.

Well worth a read/listen.

The older you get, the wiser you get, yes.

But when I look back at myself 5 years ago, I realise that I thought I had my shit together.

Now, I know I haven't.

It makes me wonder about how life could end up, what I could still achieve.

But it also frightens me to know that it could end any second.

As always Gentlemen…

Life Matters.

See you next week if I don't hear from you before.

Lewis

Right That's it.

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